Why Do I Take After My Dad In Everything But Self-Promotion?

When given the opportunity to write about a hot topic, I jumped towards an article on self-promotion before evening considering other options. I chose to review Why Don’t Women Self-Promote As Much As Men? This article spoke to me, I knew right from the title of the article that they were talking about me. I am a woman, and I lack the ability to sufficiently self-promote. I am so much like my dad, yet talking about ourselves set us apart. I always assumed that my lack of self-promotion stemmed from the absence of confidence. However, I needed to know if this was true or if there was an alternative reason. When reading the article it became clear that I was not entirely correct, instead they left me with upsetting news. The article was unable to confidently determine what causes such a skew in self-promotion between genders.

I am severely uncomfortable preparing self-assessments in a professional setting. Each year I am asked to review my performance and submit it to my supervisor at Sport Chek. I dread this encounter every year. I know that I am a good employee, I do everything that is asked of me. Trying to tell someone else this is such a challenge. I strongly believe in the saying “there is always room for improvement”. When evaluating my performance this saying gets in the way. I give myself bad ratings in anticipation of further improvements. I wish that I could evaluate myself higher to receive incentives, but I am too hard on myself. The way I rate myself in these self-assessments makes working at Sport Chek a lot less enjoyable. Managers are too busy to make their own opinions on my performance and rely heavily on my self-assessments. Managers also distribute raises based on these evaluations. I feel that I do not get the credit or praise that I deserve. I know that I could solve this so easily myself. For some reason giving myself a good assessment seems so hard and uncomfortable.

The article originally believed that the self-promotion gap between males and females was due to confidence and strategic incentives. I am positive that my lack of self-promotion is due in part to my lack of confidence. I have always struggled with being confident in my abilities. It would make a lot of sense for this to transfer into self-evaluations. It is not uncommon for me to talk down about myself. However, as I have matured I have worked very hard to improve my confidence. As my confidence has improved my ability to self-promote has not. This leads me to believe that confidence may have a small impact on my ability to self-promote but is not the only factor. Strategic incentives do not influence my ability to self-promote. When completing my Sport Chek self-evaluation, there are many incentives being offered. Even though I am aware of this, my ability to self-promote does not improve. This is because the incentives do not over power the comfort of not talking too highly of myself. I would be embarrassed if my evaluation was higher than the people reading it expected. By evaluating myself lower than I am, I will not be thought of as cocky by my colleagues. This correlates with the paper’s findings that women are less likely to be motivated by incentives.

There is a self-promotion gender gap because women are much more cruel to each other than men are. Girls are very hard on each other and quick to point out flaws especially in adolescence. Growing up constantly being put down by your peers can be very taxing on an individual. It is expected that as a woman matures she will hold on to some of these negative remarks. This will affect her self-image long after the remarks are made. Men are very different, they are more likely to display their differences physically as opposed to verbally. These physical acts do not create the same lasting impressions that verbal acts do. When a man is asked to evaluate themselves, they are less likely to recall rude comments that were once said about them. This is because on average they receive fewer rude comments, especially ones that come from their peers.

The way women treat each other is a very difficult problem to fix. Schools now push anti-bullying practices more than they once had. However, little has changed and young girls are still putting each other down. A possible solution would be to incorporate mandatory workshops into the high schools. These workshops can teach young women the negative effects that put downs are causing. This could reinforce positive talk and possibly reduce the put downs occurring in school. It may also be beneficial to have seminars for women on how to promote themselves in a professional atmosphere. These seminars can induce confidence in their abilities which may help when completing self-assessments in the future. Ultimately, there is no easy fix for this problem. No matter how many programs are created, there is no guarantee that any of it will resonate and make a large scale impact.

I am so much like my father, yet when I self-promote these similarities fade away and terrible comments made by my peers come flooding in. The article asks why men self-promote more than women? No one seems to know a definitive answer. I strongly believe that the remedy starts with showing each other kindness rather than cruelty.

Photo Credits: Very first photo is my own, the rest from Pexels